When the light at the end of the tunnel needs to be replaced...

Becky used to say all of the time "I'm completely in the dark and my flashlight needs batteries!" Isn't that our luck...all of the time. I find it just as difficult for me, a person with an auto-immune disease, to live with a person who is typical (non auto-immune). Sure they empathize and help you when your in need, but can they really understand the pain your body endures just to be able to perform the simplest of tasks. Remembering my life before the disease, I was so blind! I wish I could have that "me" back. I could run, jump, play with my kids, sit, walk, clean, endure extreme temperatures, even wear cute high heel shoes. Now the highlight of my life is if my hands are working well enough to button jeans I feel like I'm a super star! But, all pales in comparison to the feeling I get when I say I can't do something or I don't feel like going somewhere because of my RA. The look of disappointment on my husband's face is just painful, even more painful than the disease itself. That's when I put on my fake at smile and say "ok I'm fine" and try to ignore my pain...all of it.