3am....you realize that life is so different then that in your dreams.  RA/ Raynalds/ Fibro pain is the worst.  Feeling like the bed and the sheets are weights that hold you down is the absolute hell. Finding the spoons to live each day is the toughest job that we face.  We live our lives trying to smile through the pain, but there are times that it just catches up to us and beats us to bits.  Being strong all of the time is exhausting.  I've lived with this for so long that the hinges to this old mask need to be replaced.  People are starting to notice the facade that encompasses my living nightmare.  I thank the Lord for another day above the roses, but I just wish that my days could be less filled with thorns and instead the sweet aroma of  fresh cut flowers.